SHARKS It's Your Move Work Zone and High Way Set Up: Before the meal set up the LCD projector. After eating show the DV8 clips & slides to start the lesson. Guest speaker: Ward Foley (20 min). Announcements: Worship Caravan retreat this Saturday from 8am-3pm, choir next Sunday will be at 12:30 and the first one that counts! After the DV8 portion&ldots;   Feeding the Fish Needed: Bowl, Skittles,  Say: What's happening in our society is frightening: Youth face violence every day when they deal with bullies at school, in their neighborhoods or even at church. Some may even bully others in an effort to make themselves feel more valuable. Since the beginning of time there have been people who love to bully others into giving them what they want. Tonight we're going to examine some biblical ways to deal with bullies. Tell Youth to pretend the room is a giant fish tank with three kinds of fish in it. Choose two youth to be one group. Then form two more groups, with one group twice as large as the other. Have the three groups each choose an area in the room to be their port. The largest group of youth are the Groupers, the medium-size group are the Whining Darters, and the two youth are the Freshwater Sharks. Place a bowl of Skittles on a central table. Say: I'm going to feed the fish in my fish tank. When I say "Let's eat," all of you act true to your identity. Groupers are safe fish, so you each should come to the table, take five pieces of food, and carry them to your port before coming back to get five more pieces. Whining Darters don't know anything about gathering their own food, so you depend on other fish to feed you. All you can do is come to the table and beg other fish to feed you. When you get food, take it to your port, then come back and beg for more. Freshwater Sharks are aggressive. You get your food by taking it from other fish. If you walk up to any of these other fish and demand their food, they must give it to you. You then must take your newly acquired food to your port before bullying others for more food. Ready? Let's eat! After five minutes, call time      Break into Journey Groups   Moving In  Work Zone & High Way Work Zone breaks into smaller groups  Not Living in the Real World (5 min) Say: "If others think I am nuts, naive, gullible, and not living in the real world, that's all right, too... I'll gladly stay in what some have called my fictitious world, my happy and peaceful world, a world full of signs of hope. " - Ward Foley (Thank My Lucky Scars). Ward Foley, aka "Scarman", was born with multiple birth defects and not expected to live. But he did, only to undergo decades of surgery, agonizing rehabilitation, ridicule, humiliation and bullying. This incredible man has turned each "scar" in his life to experiences that gave him and others life. ASK: - How do you feel about the role you and others played in the fish activity? - How are the roles some people played like real-life bullies? - How did you deal with the bullies in this activity? - How do you deal with bullies in real life?   Moving On Work Zone & High Way  BULLYING & HARASSMENT BACKGROUND Say: Bullying is not easy to define. Sometimes it involves hitting or kicking. But threats, teasing, and taunting are more common and can be more damaging. Bullying is the precursor to harassment, which, all too often, is the precursor to violence. DISCUSS EACH OF THE FOLLOWING TOPICS Bullying is: - Commonly not reported to adults - Commonly witnessed by peers, a public humiliation with bystanders Forms it takes: - Physical (hitting, kicking, spitting, theft of belongings, grabbing of body parts) - Verbal (telling insulting jokes, name-calling) - Psychological (spreading rumors, ostracizing) Based in stereotypes: - Sexual, including anti-gay (sissy; slut; you kiss other girls!!!; he's a  little fag; b-itch word) - Racial or religious (hey white boy; grabbing the veil off a Muslim - Ability-based (retard; don't make us work with him, he's weird (said of a multiply disabled young man) - Xenophobic- pronounced Zenophobic (go back where you came from; why don't you learn English?) - Economic class (where'd you get that outfit, Value Village?) - Looks or speech (may be based on racial, anti-gay, or xenophobic bias) - Body size, height, haircut - Studiousness, good grades - A response to the target's social awkwardness (he annoyed me) Why people bully: - They believe the peer group finds the behavior attractive, exciting. - They want social status, to fit in, to distance self from an ostracized peer, to publicly defy authority. - They may believe stereotypes and fear or disapprove of certain kinds of differences. - They don't/won't believe it does real harm. - They don't believe adults will know or care; they don't expect consequences. The short and long-term consequences of (or at least associations with) bullying and harassment, include among victims: 1.  2 to 3-fold increased likelihood of having missed whole days of school in the past month due to fear. 2. Frequent changing of schools, likelihood of dropping out altogether. 3.  Loneliness, social isolation. 4.  Increased likelihood of drug-use, self-endangering behavior. 5.  Suicidal (thoughts, attempts, medically serious attempts) 6.  Rage 7.  And, in rare cases with other contributing factors, homicide Among offenders: 4-fold increase of future criminal behavior (60% of former bullies had at least one conviction by age 24) 1.   Poor academic achievement 2. Increased likelihood of drug-use and other self-endangering behavior. Among bystanders: 1. Report participating less in class, trouble concentrating in class and cutting classes. 2. Report feeling self-conscious, unsafe, afraid. 3. A sense of not valuing their surroundings that probably can lead to increased vandalism, tardiness, absenteeism.   Moving Up Work Zone & High Way  BULLY-BUSTING (10 min) Form four groups. Give each a Scripture sheet, some paper, and a pencil. Say: Each group is a bully-busting task force that helps people deal with bullies. I'll give your group one Bible passage to read. Your task force should list one thing people should do to deal with bullies according your passage, and one thing people should not do. Choose a recorder to write your ideas on paper. Then choose a task force representative to report your findings to the large group. Assign each group one of these passages:  Matthew 5:21-26; Luke 6:27-35; Romans 12:14-21; and 1 John 4:17-21. Have task force representatives report their findings. For example, "People should make peace with bullies," "Don't fight back, let God punish them," "Wish good for them," and "Don't hate them." ASK: - Why does God tell us these ways to deal with bullies? - What biblical advice is easiest for you to follow? most difficult? Explain. Say: God has given you these guidelines on dealing with bullies. God has also given you caring adults, such as teachers, pastors, parents, and youth leaders. If you need help handling a tough situation, feel free to ask advice from any of these people who care for you.   Moving Out Work Zone & High Way PUSH OR PULL - Time Filler Form pairs of students with approximately the same size and weight. Say: Stand sideways, facing in opposite directions so that you and your partner's left feet are together. Now reach out and lock left hands with your partner. When I say "go," push or pull your partner off balance so that his or her right foot moves. We'll try this three times to see who does best. Ready? Go! After three tries, call time  Say: Now think of the biblical ways to deal with bullies. Let's try this activity again, only this time respond in a Christian way. See how youth respond. They might let a partner win, talk out a compromise, or put an arm around another and say, "I wish you the best." ASK: - How did you feel doing this activity the first three times? - How did you feel responding in a biblical way? - Which response felt the best? Explain. Say: We often respond to bullying by getting tough with the other person, which can make matters worse. Christian responses bring calmness to situations. Return to the Gym for Closing&ldots;   Closing Work Zone & High Way Gather in the closing circle. Hand out business cards with the benediction on one side and part of the following on the other. Say: Before we can do anything constructive about the bullies in our lives, we must admit that there are times when even we bully other people. Then we must become a defender of the undefended. If you aren't confident enough, report the incident to someone in authority. In order to be successful in this fight, everyone must take part. Tonight we have reviewed the facts about bullying and researched ways to help prevent bullies from causing physical or emotional harm to others.  If everyone works together and realizes how damaging bully is, we have a chance against bullying.  Here are a few tips to help avoid bullying: 1. Make friends and hang out with them. Bullies are less likely to pick on someone in a group than someone who is alone. 2. Speak well of yourself so others will speak well of you. Don't put yourself down verbally, that's giving others permission to do so too. 3. Act confident. Discover what you love to do and excel at it, nurture it and feel good about it. 4. Don't spread rumors, don't repeat name calling. Make bullying not cool! 5. Report dangerous, destructive or disturbing incidences to someone in authority. Prayer Merciful God, please forgive us for bullying others and help us respond in a Christian way to those who bully us. Help us to rejoice in Your goodness on our spiritual journey, so that we may constantly renew our relationship with You. Give us the strength and courage to make changes for the better. Amen. Say the UMYF Benediction and turn out in to the world.    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Gather for this lesson: DV8 stuff, bowel, big bag of Skittles, Scripture sheet, paper, pencil, UMYF Benediction business cards Discussion Guidelines 1. What is said in the room stays in this room. Confidentiality is vital to a healthy discussion. 2. No put-downs. Sarcasm and unkind remarks have no place in a discussion. If someone disagrees with another's comment, they should raise a hand and express an opinion of the comment but not of the person who made it. It is permissible to attack ideas, but not each other. 3. There is no such thing as a dumb question. Asking questions is the best way to learn. 4. No one is forced to talk. Anyone can remain silent about any question. 5. Only one person talks at a time. Each person's opinion is worthwhile and deserves to be heard. Listening is an expression of respect.   The Rules: - Be respectful of others - Don't be mean - Keep your hands to yourself - Stay in your seat - Understand there is a time and a place for everything   The UMYF Benediction May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you And be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you And give you peace. Shalom!