Against the Wind It's Your Move Work Zone and High Way  At 5 min. till start "Against The Wind" - Bob Seger. When the song's done, welcome, & introductions, make announcements. Have prayer cards @ the tables. * Caravan Parents Meeting Last Sunday of the month * Confirmation Retreat the end of the month   Which Way Are We Moving Work Zone & High Way Begin with a large group Conflict Isn't it nice to know that when you life as a Christian, all your problems go away? Things are perfect. No quarrels. No disagreements. Harmony. Peace. Unity. No problems with other Christians. No worries about difficulties with other people. Wrong. As long as you have relationships, you will have conflict. Being a Christian doesn't change that fact. You can apply Christian principles, but you'll still run into differing opinions, disagreements, and outright arguments. Tonight's discussion zeroes in on dealing with conflict. It will help you discover what God's Word says about conflict. And it will help you see that even though you might be a Christian, you will still have to work through conflict.   Trust Ball We're going to play a large group game to promote teamwork and help you get some one on one time with another member of the youth group. The name of the game is Kick Ball, but as you might expect there is a catch. Some of you will be blindfolded. Here's how to play. The rules are the same as kickball (3 outs/inning, foul balls, force outs, etc.). We'll pick half teams then have each half pick a partner to be blindfolded. At bat, the seeing player kicks the ball, but the blind player runs the bases. The seeing player can run alongside and coach, but may not touch the runner. In the field, the seeing player can catch or stop the ball, but not throw or tag a runner. They CAN, however, touch their own blind partner to guide them to throw the ball or lead them to tag the runner. Players alternate being blindfolded each inning.   Break into Journey Groups   Moving In Work Zone & High Way Bean Bargain Needed: Ten dried beans for each group member, a candy bar  Give the youth each ten dried beans and then display the prize you've brought. The instructions you'll give for this game will be intentionally brief and vague. Say: Here's the grand prize. This is a Church game. Whoever has the most beans at the end of two minutes wins. Ready? Set? Go! Many of the students will want more instruction. Others will start into the competition on their own terms. Just keep looking at your watch. The activity is deliberately open-ended to let students experience how they deal with the conflicts they feel between the need to win and the need to know the rules and play fairly. It's likely some students will aggressively confront others to get their beans, some will choose negotiation, and others will withdraw. The situation is one of inherent conflict based on each person's need to have something that others are unwilling to give up. If you feel this activity is growing too aggressive, call time early or ask the aggressive players to sit down and forfeit their beans. When the two minutes are up, total each person's beans, declare the winner (or winners), and award the winner the prize. BREAK INTO BOY/GIRL GROUPS HERE. Ask: * How is the way you felt during this game like the way you feel when you're in a conflict in real life? * What was the problem with this game?  * What methods did you use to try to get what you needed? * What, if anything, happened in this game that made you angry? * What did you do when you got angry? * How many of you tried to get beans by intimidating other students? by negotiating? by working with others to gang up on somebody? * How is this game like real life? * What rules for playing the game seemed to be accepted by most of this group? Say: Since we're looking at conflict in this session, it's important to realize from the beginning that conflict is a result of people trying to meet their own needs. In this activity, you saw people react to conflict in different ways. People who have made a study of conflict-resolution styles say there are five main ways people deal with conflict.   Moving On Work Zone & High Way Replay Needed: Gen 4:1-9,Conflict Resolution and Happy-Ending Replay handouts, pencils. (Work Zone stays divided) Pass out a few of the Conflict Resolution handout - they can share. Say: Take a moment to think about which style you used in this conflict situation. What do you think your typical conflict-resolution style might be? We all have our own natural ways of dealing with conflict, but what we do naturally isn't always the best thing. The Bible has some interesting things to teach us about conflict. Let's take a look. Give students each a photocopy of the 'Happy-Ending Replay" handout, a pencil, and a Bible. Form pairs, and have each pair flip a coin to determine who will take the role of Cain and who will be Abel. Give the pairs a few minutes to work through the handout. Then bring the group together and ask students to share their problem-solving ideas for Cain and Abel.   Then ASK: * What needs did Cain have that resulted in his action against Abel? * How do you think Cain was feeling just before the murder? * What conflict-resolution style best describes Cain's approach to solving his conflict with God and with Abel? * Was it effective? Why or why not? Say: Conflict resolution happens when people on both sides of a conflict decide to open up and look at the problem objectively and work through it together. It may mean giving up something, but you get a happy ending and a stronger relationship in return.   Moving Up Work Zone & High Way You and What Army? Hold up a bottle of aspirin. (Work Zone stays divided) Say: Time for a little history lesson. Aspirin was created in 1897 as a pain reliever by a chemist working for Friedrich Bayer amp; Company. But Bayer didn't think aspirin would amount to much. As it turns out, this wasn't a very accurate prediction-according to the Food and Drug Administration, Americans consume an estimated eighty billion aspirin tablets each year. The pills in this bottle can help reduce pain, lower fever, and even help some people avoid having heart attacks. But if you're allergic to aspirin, it can kill you. And even if you're not allergic, aspirin can cause nausea, heartburn, and stomach pain. Because aspirin thins your blood, if you have uncontrolled high blood pressure, an ulcer, or liver or kidney disease, the aspirin in your hand can hurt you in serious ways. Aspirin, like a lot of things, isn't good or bad in itself. It's how you use it that can make aspirin healthy or dangerous, helpful or deadly. What you do with that little tablet makes all the difference in the world. Ask students to list several items that can be good or bad depending on how they're used. Some examples might include the Internet, cars, jokes, sex, and competition. Say: Conflict could be on our list. It's not good or bad-it just is. We're all willful, and our goals and desires often don't line up with each others'. That means conflict is inevitable. It's what we do with conflict that determines whether it's healthy or dangerous, helpful or deadly. Ask a volunteer to read - Matthew 5:22-24. But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be liable to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.   ASK: * How would you sum up what Jesus said in ten words or less? * How do you think people felt when they heard Jesus say this? How do you feel? * Some of us avoid dealing with conflict. What words describe how you feel about conflict? * The words we read from Matthew 5 are Jesus' words. He clearly values the quick resolution of conflicts. Tell about a time you worked through a conflict. * Sometimes we don't work through conflict. What things have kept you from resolving conflict? * In what ways has conflict been healthy in your life? How has it been unhealthy?   Moving Out Work Zone  Knots. To start with, stay in smaller boy/girl groups to play at least once and form a circle. Everyone joins hands with someone across from them, not the person next to them or the same person twice. After you join hands and before you start to untangle, have one person squeeze the hand in his/her right hand. Then have each person continue this down the line until the person that started it gets his or her hand squeezed. If not everyone got his or her hand squeezed have one of those people grab a new hand and start the squeezing again. Continue until everyone is included in the squeeze part. Next, without letting go of each other's hands, untangle yourselves so that you form a circle again. When the other small group completes one round of knots, have a competition between boys and girls to see which can untangle the fastest. Then try again as a combined boy/girl group.   Moving Out High Way Needed: Israeli-Palestinian handout Read the hand out. Then, Discuss: * Do you think forgiveness is a possibility in a situation like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict where there is so much hate? Why or why not? * Is this conflict one of religion or politics or both? Explain. * What should the Christian response be to this situation? Explain. * Is it the work of the church to bring reconciliation among non-Christians? Why or why not? * Should Christians get involved and work for reconciliation or let the government handle situations like these? Explain. * How could reconciliation be brought about between two parties after fifty years of hostility? * What lessons could be learned in such suffering? * What did Jesus teach us about overcoming conflict? * Have you ever been in a situation where someone has taken so much from you that you felt you could not forgive that person? * If so, were you able to forgive him or her eventually? How?   Save the last 10 minutes for closing as a large group.   Come back together in The Family Life Center    Closing Work Zone & High Way The Leader Closes: Sit as youth Gather in a circle. Do the prayer cards Sum up the lesson Close In Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, ...   UMYF Benediction  May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you And be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you And give you peace. Shalom!   Gather these for the Lesson: Prayer cards, a Kick ball and bases, dried beans, a candy bar, 25 copies of Gen. 4:1-9, 16 Conflict Resolution sheets, 25 Happy-Ending Replay handouts, pens, 3 bottles of aspirin, 10 Israeli-Palestinian handout, Cool Blindfolds   Handouts Below Conflict Resolution 1. I win, you lose. (Fight) 2. I want out; I withdraw. (Avoid) 3. I give in to keep the peace. (Surrender) 4. I'll meet you halfway. (Compromise) 5. I'll go through it with you; we'll work on the problem together. (Resolve)   Israeli-Palestinian Peace Accords Collapse S the Palestinian occasionally returns to his home town in Israel, to the small plot of land where his family lived more than fifty years ago. His grandparents' house is now the property of N the Kurdish Jew. "He has my life," says S the Palestinian, of N the Kurdish Jew, an Israeli. In 1948, when the Jews claimed a state of their own, Palestinians like S fled their homes in fear. Israelis still occupy the homes, and the Palestinians live in exile in crowded refugee camps along Israel's contested borders in the Gaza Strip and the West Bank. The mostly Muslim Palestinians say they've been wronged; the land, which they call Palestine, is rightfully theirs because they were living on it before they fled. The mostly Jewish Israelis say they have been wronged throughout history. The land, which they call Israel, is rightfully theirs, given to them when the U.N. created the Jewish state. In the center of Jerusalem stands the Temple Mount, site of the last Jewish temple. A Palestinian mosque now sits on this Jewish holy site. As Muslims go to the mosque to pray, they encounter Jews praying at the Western Wall, the last remaining part of the old temple. Recent violence at these holy places has been some of the worst of the crisis. Arabs, allegedly urged by Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat, hurled rocks at Jews praying at the Western Wall. An Arab mob pulled two Israeli soldiers from prison and beat them to death. And the leader of this Palestinian mosque called over the loudspeaker for Muslims to "eradicate the Jews from Palestine." The Israelis, led by their Prime Minister retaliated with missile attacks on Palestinian security sites.   Gen 4:1-9 Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, "I have gotten a man with the help of the LORD." And again, she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a tiller of the ground. In the course of time Cain brought to the LORD an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel brought of the firstlings of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. The LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is couching at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it." Cain said to Abel his brother, "Let us go out to the field." And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him. Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" He said, "I do not know; am I my brother's keeper?"   HAPPY-ENDING REPLAY Cain Abel Read through the story in Genesis 4:1-9 with your partner. Then flip a coin to choose roles: Heads is Cain; tails is Abel. Work through these problem-solving steps to reach a happier ending to the story. Write how you'll deal with each step in the space below.   1. Describe the problem. Go to the other person and agree to look at the problem together. No blaming!   2. Discuss alternative solutions. How could the problem be solved? No ideas are too weird.   3. Find areas of agreement. List the solutions that have appeal to both people.   4. Develop a course of action. What steps can you take to resolve the conflict, based on the areas of agreement?